Gustave Flaubert wrote one of the greatest novels ever written, "Madame Bovary". He was a perfectionist to the core and Madame Bovary is sometimes described as the "perfect" work of fiction. However, he coined a phrase that I never really understood when first I heard it: "To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."
Being stupid is something I never wanted to be. I've always loved my thirst for knowledge and being an independent thinker who takes everything I hear with a grain of salt. I abhor selfish people, and although I know at times I can be selfish, I try to be as selfless as possible. The good health thing I could always understand. And it's a lack of good health and a recent incident surrounding it which has made me think that perhaps life would be easier if I were at least a little bit stupid.
For at least two years now, perhaps longer, I have been having issues with my breathing. It feels like I cannot get enough air although I do not necessarily get winded. When I first started noticing the issue it was very intermittent but lately it seems to be with me all the time. I had complained to my doctor about this when I first noticed the symptoms. He ordered a chest x-ray which came back clean. It didn't surprise me. For whatever reason I have never thought it is an actual problem with my lungs. My daughter has severe asthma and I have seen the pain she endures because of it. My stepfather died of COPD and again, I witnessed the horrible suffering of one who is unable to breath. This feels different! Last year I started noticing that my muscles seem to be constantly sore, and of course fatigue has taken over my life as of late in a way it has never done before. I'm not a complainer, however. I push through each day noticing it but trying to overcome it as best I can. At first I thought maybe all my issues were caused by anxiety. Although I don't feel anxious or stressed right now I had been for years prior and perhaps it's my body's way of catching up on the fact that I ignored it for so long during troubled times.? This seemed like a pretty good possibility, but unfortunately over the past month I have not been able to get my mind off of it and it's beginning to cause too many setbacks for me like finding the time & energy to write in this blog, or leaving the dishes at night because I just can't do any more that day. Spring is almost upon us and I have so much to do and so off to the doctor I went to discuss it once again and see if there is actually a physiological solution to my problem.
The doctor ordered another chest x-ray to be examined against the one I had done two years ago. I asked him if there could be other reasons besides an issue with my lungs that could be causing a breathing problem and he said, yes! He then also ordered some blood tests. A few days later I got a call from the doctor's office telling me that my report was in and the doctor would like to see me. Apparently my B12 level is a little low. B12 is not a new concept for me. I have known people in the past who have complained about B12 deficiencies and being the person that I am (not always trusting the words from ones I hear) I researched it and learned about its necessity. In doing so I also learned that our main sources of B12 come from eggs, dairy products and meat (or most importantly fish and shellfish). Since I eat a pretty healthy diet which has always included quite a bit of seafood along with dairy and other lean meats, I put this information in the back of my memory bank and never really thought more of it. So it came as a bit of a surprise to me when I heard that my B12 was low. How could this be? It can't be from a lack of B12 in my diet. Even the skim milk I use every morning in my cereal is fortified with B12. I needed to do more research before seeing the doctor.
What I didn't learn from my research years ago is that some people, for various reasons, cannot absorb the B12 properly and their "storage" of B12 becomes depleted over time. This can cause some pretty serious issues, and three common symptoms are fatigue, muscle soreness, and breathing problems. Although B12 deficiency can seem very similar to other disorders, the main symptoms are below.
1. Chronic Fatigue - a persistent feeling of tiredness and weakness.
2. Shortness of Breath - laboured breathing can result from B12 not being absorbed properly.
3. Tingling in Fingers & Toes - B12 deficiency can cause poor circulation.
4. Weight Loss - excessive, unexplained weight loss which can create other issues.
5. Incontinence - lack of bladder control.
6. Forgetfulness
7. Confusion
8. Depression
9. Tremors - uncontrolled movements of the extremities.
10. Hallucinations - both visual and audio.
Of course having any number of these symptoms doesn't necessarily mean you have a B12 deficiency but it could. The last 5 symptoms (especially number 10) usually only appear after the lack of B12 has been an unknown issue for many years, although in some elderly people it has been known to come on more quickly (within months).
Now after learning of this I didn't get all panicky and think, "Oh no! I'm going to die!". That's just not me. I figured my doctor would put me on a regime of B12 shots and within a few months perhaps I'd begin to feel better. This is what I was expecting, but this is not what happened. Instead my doctor decided to give me a "WTF?" moment. I seem to have a lot of these ...
After I sat down he explained that my blood work was basically good except it showed that my B12 was a little low. So I asked, "So what do I need to do?" and he said, "Oh, all you have to do is eat more green, leafy vegetables. It's obvious your diet doesn't contain enough green, leafy vegetables!"
WTF?
Now I don't know how many people would actually argue with their doctor, and normally I wouldn't because I'm not ignorant and understand they have a degree for a reason, but when someone is wrong, no matter who they are, they are just plain wrong. Although I do eat a lot of green, leafy vegetables I know they contain very little natural B12. Some may be fortified with it, but so are most dairy products. Meat, fish and eggs are the only foods that contain natural high amounts of B12. I mentioned this to my doctor and he became rather smug, insisting that it's the greens in our diet that give us the B12. After 10 minutes of arguing, even bringing up the point that vegans are normally more at risk of developing B12 deficiency due to the lack of dairy & meat in their diets, I gave up. He even argued that I was wrong that skim milk contained a B12 supplement. Funny, since it's right on the package (which I pointed out). I ended the argument with, "I'm sorry Dr., but unless you can prove to me that B12 comes from greens and not from dairy & meat which is what the general populous knows to be fact, then I must disagree with you". He then made a sarcastic comment which gave me another WTF moment. "Well, the patient is always right!," he said. I retorted, "You do realize that doctors aren't always right then?" Somehow I think this concept might be a little above him as well.
I did manage to get a B12 shot. I can be pretty stubborn. Afterwards I went directly to the health food store and picked up a B12 supplement that dissolves under your tongue, bypassing the requirement of your stomach to absorb it. Perhaps it's not B12 that is causing my issues, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Only time will tell if it helps or not, but now back to my original point. Had I been stupid ...
Had I been stupid I would have gleefully accepted what my doctor told me, and instead of heading to the health food store, I would have headed to the grocery store to pick up even more green, leafy vegetables than I already have. Instead of having at least one salad a day, maybe I would have bumped that up to three. I may have even thought I was a little bit smart and purchased a B12 supplement that you swallow thinking that would help instead of just being really expensive pee. Maybe, just maybe, believing what my doctor told me would have had a great effect on me, and that "placebo effect" would have made me feel instantly better or cured. Not only would I have my health, but I would have my stupidity. That would definitely produce some happiness for me. I'd wake up the next day singing, "Oh what a beautiful morning!" and go about my life without a care in the world. Well, until it kills me of course, but what does that matter? I'd be dead so wouldn't know any better. Yes, sometimes I envy stupid people! Their lives must be so stress-free.
Mine however, is not. I am not worried about a possible B12 deficiency. I am doing what needs to be done. If my breathing doesn't get any better, I will go back and fight with my doctor until the problem is figured out. If he doesn't want to listen there are other places I can go and find doctors who will. No, what bothers me is that I have spent a couple of days now wondering what is seriously wrong with humanity, and why I must live in a world in which our doctors and even teachers are so misinformed? Wasn't there a time when these people were so revered that you knew to take their word as gospel? Were people just really stupid back then, or were these doctors and teachers actually knowledgeable about the things they spoke about? Have we come to a point where people with degrees just say, "Hey, I've got a degree, therefore know all and have no need to learn anything new?" Or has the general population just become more knowledgeable about a variety of things that in the past they just left in the hands of our doctors and teachers? Are we more aware or just more ignorant? These are the questions that haunt me, and make me wonder if my life would be just a little bit simpler had I been stupid. I'm sure it would have been much less interesting, but simple nonetheless. Perhaps Mr. Flaubert was right, and true happiness lies only in stupidity.
I recently saw a post on Facebook that at the time made me laugh. However, after this recent experience I can no longer chuckle at it.
Being stupid is something I never wanted to be. I've always loved my thirst for knowledge and being an independent thinker who takes everything I hear with a grain of salt. I abhor selfish people, and although I know at times I can be selfish, I try to be as selfless as possible. The good health thing I could always understand. And it's a lack of good health and a recent incident surrounding it which has made me think that perhaps life would be easier if I were at least a little bit stupid.
For at least two years now, perhaps longer, I have been having issues with my breathing. It feels like I cannot get enough air although I do not necessarily get winded. When I first started noticing the issue it was very intermittent but lately it seems to be with me all the time. I had complained to my doctor about this when I first noticed the symptoms. He ordered a chest x-ray which came back clean. It didn't surprise me. For whatever reason I have never thought it is an actual problem with my lungs. My daughter has severe asthma and I have seen the pain she endures because of it. My stepfather died of COPD and again, I witnessed the horrible suffering of one who is unable to breath. This feels different! Last year I started noticing that my muscles seem to be constantly sore, and of course fatigue has taken over my life as of late in a way it has never done before. I'm not a complainer, however. I push through each day noticing it but trying to overcome it as best I can. At first I thought maybe all my issues were caused by anxiety. Although I don't feel anxious or stressed right now I had been for years prior and perhaps it's my body's way of catching up on the fact that I ignored it for so long during troubled times.? This seemed like a pretty good possibility, but unfortunately over the past month I have not been able to get my mind off of it and it's beginning to cause too many setbacks for me like finding the time & energy to write in this blog, or leaving the dishes at night because I just can't do any more that day. Spring is almost upon us and I have so much to do and so off to the doctor I went to discuss it once again and see if there is actually a physiological solution to my problem.
The doctor ordered another chest x-ray to be examined against the one I had done two years ago. I asked him if there could be other reasons besides an issue with my lungs that could be causing a breathing problem and he said, yes! He then also ordered some blood tests. A few days later I got a call from the doctor's office telling me that my report was in and the doctor would like to see me. Apparently my B12 level is a little low. B12 is not a new concept for me. I have known people in the past who have complained about B12 deficiencies and being the person that I am (not always trusting the words from ones I hear) I researched it and learned about its necessity. In doing so I also learned that our main sources of B12 come from eggs, dairy products and meat (or most importantly fish and shellfish). Since I eat a pretty healthy diet which has always included quite a bit of seafood along with dairy and other lean meats, I put this information in the back of my memory bank and never really thought more of it. So it came as a bit of a surprise to me when I heard that my B12 was low. How could this be? It can't be from a lack of B12 in my diet. Even the skim milk I use every morning in my cereal is fortified with B12. I needed to do more research before seeing the doctor.
What I didn't learn from my research years ago is that some people, for various reasons, cannot absorb the B12 properly and their "storage" of B12 becomes depleted over time. This can cause some pretty serious issues, and three common symptoms are fatigue, muscle soreness, and breathing problems. Although B12 deficiency can seem very similar to other disorders, the main symptoms are below.
1. Chronic Fatigue - a persistent feeling of tiredness and weakness.
2. Shortness of Breath - laboured breathing can result from B12 not being absorbed properly.
3. Tingling in Fingers & Toes - B12 deficiency can cause poor circulation.
4. Weight Loss - excessive, unexplained weight loss which can create other issues.
5. Incontinence - lack of bladder control.
6. Forgetfulness
7. Confusion
8. Depression
9. Tremors - uncontrolled movements of the extremities.
10. Hallucinations - both visual and audio.
Of course having any number of these symptoms doesn't necessarily mean you have a B12 deficiency but it could. The last 5 symptoms (especially number 10) usually only appear after the lack of B12 has been an unknown issue for many years, although in some elderly people it has been known to come on more quickly (within months).
Now after learning of this I didn't get all panicky and think, "Oh no! I'm going to die!". That's just not me. I figured my doctor would put me on a regime of B12 shots and within a few months perhaps I'd begin to feel better. This is what I was expecting, but this is not what happened. Instead my doctor decided to give me a "WTF?" moment. I seem to have a lot of these ...
After I sat down he explained that my blood work was basically good except it showed that my B12 was a little low. So I asked, "So what do I need to do?" and he said, "Oh, all you have to do is eat more green, leafy vegetables. It's obvious your diet doesn't contain enough green, leafy vegetables!"
WTF?
Now I don't know how many people would actually argue with their doctor, and normally I wouldn't because I'm not ignorant and understand they have a degree for a reason, but when someone is wrong, no matter who they are, they are just plain wrong. Although I do eat a lot of green, leafy vegetables I know they contain very little natural B12. Some may be fortified with it, but so are most dairy products. Meat, fish and eggs are the only foods that contain natural high amounts of B12. I mentioned this to my doctor and he became rather smug, insisting that it's the greens in our diet that give us the B12. After 10 minutes of arguing, even bringing up the point that vegans are normally more at risk of developing B12 deficiency due to the lack of dairy & meat in their diets, I gave up. He even argued that I was wrong that skim milk contained a B12 supplement. Funny, since it's right on the package (which I pointed out). I ended the argument with, "I'm sorry Dr., but unless you can prove to me that B12 comes from greens and not from dairy & meat which is what the general populous knows to be fact, then I must disagree with you". He then made a sarcastic comment which gave me another WTF moment. "Well, the patient is always right!," he said. I retorted, "You do realize that doctors aren't always right then?" Somehow I think this concept might be a little above him as well.
I did manage to get a B12 shot. I can be pretty stubborn. Afterwards I went directly to the health food store and picked up a B12 supplement that dissolves under your tongue, bypassing the requirement of your stomach to absorb it. Perhaps it's not B12 that is causing my issues, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Only time will tell if it helps or not, but now back to my original point. Had I been stupid ...
Had I been stupid I would have gleefully accepted what my doctor told me, and instead of heading to the health food store, I would have headed to the grocery store to pick up even more green, leafy vegetables than I already have. Instead of having at least one salad a day, maybe I would have bumped that up to three. I may have even thought I was a little bit smart and purchased a B12 supplement that you swallow thinking that would help instead of just being really expensive pee. Maybe, just maybe, believing what my doctor told me would have had a great effect on me, and that "placebo effect" would have made me feel instantly better or cured. Not only would I have my health, but I would have my stupidity. That would definitely produce some happiness for me. I'd wake up the next day singing, "Oh what a beautiful morning!" and go about my life without a care in the world. Well, until it kills me of course, but what does that matter? I'd be dead so wouldn't know any better. Yes, sometimes I envy stupid people! Their lives must be so stress-free.
Mine however, is not. I am not worried about a possible B12 deficiency. I am doing what needs to be done. If my breathing doesn't get any better, I will go back and fight with my doctor until the problem is figured out. If he doesn't want to listen there are other places I can go and find doctors who will. No, what bothers me is that I have spent a couple of days now wondering what is seriously wrong with humanity, and why I must live in a world in which our doctors and even teachers are so misinformed? Wasn't there a time when these people were so revered that you knew to take their word as gospel? Were people just really stupid back then, or were these doctors and teachers actually knowledgeable about the things they spoke about? Have we come to a point where people with degrees just say, "Hey, I've got a degree, therefore know all and have no need to learn anything new?" Or has the general population just become more knowledgeable about a variety of things that in the past they just left in the hands of our doctors and teachers? Are we more aware or just more ignorant? These are the questions that haunt me, and make me wonder if my life would be just a little bit simpler had I been stupid. I'm sure it would have been much less interesting, but simple nonetheless. Perhaps Mr. Flaubert was right, and true happiness lies only in stupidity.
I recently saw a post on Facebook that at the time made me laugh. However, after this recent experience I can no longer chuckle at it.
Happiness = dead or stupid?
Well, I sure hope not. I have seven books currently on my nightstand table I really must read before I can even think of becoming stupid, or dead. I also have some really smart family members who would take full advantage of my stupidity if I allowed it, and although I'm sure I wouldn't know any better if I were stupid, I really don't want to make their lives any more enjoyable than they already are at my expense. They take great pleasure in outsmarting me as it is! No, I must hang onto the belief that being intelligent is a gift, and not a curse. In my reality, all I really need to learn is to let stupid be stupid or perhaps understand like Forrest Gump did, "STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES!" Seems simple enough, doesn't it?
Well, I sure hope not. I have seven books currently on my nightstand table I really must read before I can even think of becoming stupid, or dead. I also have some really smart family members who would take full advantage of my stupidity if I allowed it, and although I'm sure I wouldn't know any better if I were stupid, I really don't want to make their lives any more enjoyable than they already are at my expense. They take great pleasure in outsmarting me as it is! No, I must hang onto the belief that being intelligent is a gift, and not a curse. In my reality, all I really need to learn is to let stupid be stupid or perhaps understand like Forrest Gump did, "STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES!" Seems simple enough, doesn't it?