I have a friend who recently revealed some very honest things to me even though this knowledge could have possibly changed my attitude towards him, forever! This person doesn't know me well enough to know how very much this honesty was appreciated. I respect that what he said was difficult for him and it was uncomfortable for me to hear it but I am glad for it. It helped start a communication of better understanding between us. It helped our friendship grow!
I hate dishonesty! I hate ulterior motives! I hate all things unjust! I believe that eventually the truth will always surface, and that the longer a lie is in motion, the longer it takes to get over it. Honesty truly is *almost* always the best policy.
The dictionary definition of the word "HONEST" shows us the following --
1. not given to lying, cheating, stealing, etc; trustworthy
2. not false or misleading; genuine
3. just or fair
It seems so simple, but being an honest person I can honestly say it's not as easy as it seems. I think that may be the reason why a lot of people choose to be dishonest. Taking the path of honesty can sometimes turn out to be a very lonely road. I have very few friends that I consider really "good" friends. Most people find my honesty to be rather harsh and unnecessary, but I don't see it this way. I consider the good friends that I have to be good because they are honest with me. They care enough that they don't allow me to drown in a sea of my own bullshit for very long. There are times I don't like what they are telling me and it hurts, but because I am able to trust them as completely as I do I stop and take stock of what they are saying. More often than not they are right! I am just too wrapped up in whatever struggle or issue I am dealing with at the time to see it. In times like these they can see things I can't and it's because of them that many mistakes in my life have been diverted.
I have lied but am not very good at it. I suck at poker and can't act to save my life. I have even tried to lie through acts of omission, but my guilty conscience takes over and I end up blabbing the full story. My daughter is much like me and is also known for her inability to lie, but she's mastered the art of "omission". I am so jealous! She does it so perfectly! None of her omissions are ever anything that would hurt another person. Herself maybe, but not another. So this brings me to the question -- is it ever OK to lie?
I believe the answer is yes, but the circumstances and reasons why are what makes the lies what I call, "ETHICAL UNTRUTHS". This is what I think determines it -
1. The lie must be for the benefit of another person. This is very important!! If you are going to tell a lie that is in any way ethical it has to only be in the interest of someone other than yourself. Extra marks go to those lies that help another but put you at a disadvantage.
2. The truth has to be more harmful in the person's present circumstances than the lie would be. This is sometimes a difficult thing to determine. There are times in life when someone is suffering so badly that telling them a truth that would cause more suffering just seems wrong. Keeping something to yourself until the person is strong enough to deal with the "added" or "separate" truth can be a better choice. In making this choice you run the risk of this person being upset at you once the truth does surface. You must be prepared to be understanding towards this.
3. Sadly, when a person is about to die and the lie will die with them ... I don't see anything wrong with giving peace to a person who is about to die, and if a few untruthful words will give them that peace what can be the harm in that?
Yes, it's a short list.
I really can't think of any other instances in which lying would be OK.
Apparently I have a very guilty conscience.
I think Shakespeare had it right ....
I hate dishonesty! I hate ulterior motives! I hate all things unjust! I believe that eventually the truth will always surface, and that the longer a lie is in motion, the longer it takes to get over it. Honesty truly is *almost* always the best policy.
The dictionary definition of the word "HONEST" shows us the following --
1. not given to lying, cheating, stealing, etc; trustworthy
2. not false or misleading; genuine
3. just or fair
It seems so simple, but being an honest person I can honestly say it's not as easy as it seems. I think that may be the reason why a lot of people choose to be dishonest. Taking the path of honesty can sometimes turn out to be a very lonely road. I have very few friends that I consider really "good" friends. Most people find my honesty to be rather harsh and unnecessary, but I don't see it this way. I consider the good friends that I have to be good because they are honest with me. They care enough that they don't allow me to drown in a sea of my own bullshit for very long. There are times I don't like what they are telling me and it hurts, but because I am able to trust them as completely as I do I stop and take stock of what they are saying. More often than not they are right! I am just too wrapped up in whatever struggle or issue I am dealing with at the time to see it. In times like these they can see things I can't and it's because of them that many mistakes in my life have been diverted.
I have lied but am not very good at it. I suck at poker and can't act to save my life. I have even tried to lie through acts of omission, but my guilty conscience takes over and I end up blabbing the full story. My daughter is much like me and is also known for her inability to lie, but she's mastered the art of "omission". I am so jealous! She does it so perfectly! None of her omissions are ever anything that would hurt another person. Herself maybe, but not another. So this brings me to the question -- is it ever OK to lie?
I believe the answer is yes, but the circumstances and reasons why are what makes the lies what I call, "ETHICAL UNTRUTHS". This is what I think determines it -
1. The lie must be for the benefit of another person. This is very important!! If you are going to tell a lie that is in any way ethical it has to only be in the interest of someone other than yourself. Extra marks go to those lies that help another but put you at a disadvantage.
2. The truth has to be more harmful in the person's present circumstances than the lie would be. This is sometimes a difficult thing to determine. There are times in life when someone is suffering so badly that telling them a truth that would cause more suffering just seems wrong. Keeping something to yourself until the person is strong enough to deal with the "added" or "separate" truth can be a better choice. In making this choice you run the risk of this person being upset at you once the truth does surface. You must be prepared to be understanding towards this.
3. Sadly, when a person is about to die and the lie will die with them ... I don't see anything wrong with giving peace to a person who is about to die, and if a few untruthful words will give them that peace what can be the harm in that?
Yes, it's a short list.
I really can't think of any other instances in which lying would be OK.
Apparently I have a very guilty conscience.
I think Shakespeare had it right ....
Perhaps our inability to be true to ourselves is what makes us so dishonest to others.
Honestly, I really have no idea!